Child Safety They Call Me Baby Speed Bump

Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen

The government can’t solve all of our issues. If it could, the guy who served me a cold hamburger for lunch would be facing challenging time. I mean, after all, it’s not like his oversight is a 1st offense. He’s served other unsuspecting patrons the same greasy, undercooked lump of cow, and must have to pay with his spatula.

There are some things our state governments should tackle, and one of those is the protection of our kids. Hey, I don’t like children either, but they do grow up eventually, and they make lousy speed bumps, so I think our legislators ought to address this issue. Little children, I mean the ones under say twelve, shouldn’t be allowed to ride motorcycles.

Yes, I can just hear it. Its like the jokes circulating the Web where manufacturers advise us we must maintain their knives out of children or that making use of their electric hair dryers in the shower is not a excellent idea. To most of us, these words of wisdom seem so obvious that we are amazed that anyone would feel it required to tell us. But, even though there is a limit to human intelligence, human stupidity is boundless. Here is a case in point.

I have a client who hired me to file an emergency petition to keep her former husband from transporting their three-year-old, 32 pound kid on the back of his Harley. Fortunately, the judge made the proper choice, and for the time being, Daddy has to pick the kid up in his truck. But the Welfare department and the police felt helpless to intervene against this behavior due to the fact it is not illegal. It’s not???? you may well be saying. That’s what I said, and I’m a lawyer. It is true. You can’t drive your kids around in a auto, van, or truck with out suitable safety restraints unless you want a ticket. It is, even so, perfectly legal in all states for a little kid to be placed on the back of a motorcycle and only be protected by Daddy’s driving capability and the strength of his grip on Daddy’s shirt.

The reality that Junior could fly off the bike if Daddy had been to hit one of our many potholes or suddenly have to brake because of visitors conditions has no bearing on whether or not Daddy is guilty of neglecting his duty. I guess if the kid lets go or loses his grip, its his tough break. After all, it was on his watch, and he positive as heck will know greater next time, if there is a next time.

The paramedics who scrape his little body off the road, and the coroner who has to verify the cause of death have no gripe. If the little idiot had just held on like Daddy told him to, he’d possibly still be with us. But, who cares? Dead children make excellent news copy.

Maybe I’m being old fashioned. After all, I am a lady of a certain age, and whilst that age isn’t anything I care to advertise, when I was growing up, my parents had the strange notion that they were supposed to protect me. They didn’t let me do harmless things like roller skate on Highway 52 or take rides home from school with strangers. Neither of them drove a motorcycle, so maybe I’m missing the point.

I ask you, parents of the world, am I wrong? Is there an exceptional reason for a little kid to ride on the back of a “hog” that I don’t recognize? Would we be denying our youth a correct as essential as, say, their education if we outlawed this behavior? Would our nursery school students stage a protest in Washington if this exciting and enjoyable form of transportation was universally outlawed for them? What do you believe? Tell me. Greater yet, check your state laws and tell your legislature if your children aren’t protected from such stupidity just before some unsuspecting toddler is killed or permanently injured.

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